a moment of doubt

Have almost 200 books under lock and key.  Have a high theft problem.  All there this year.  It's  a special locked closet for the readers.  Yup.  I let the kids have my keys at any time.  What were the powers thinking?  Classrooms w/out walls?  Libraries w/out walls?  Idiots.  Did I say idiot.  Yup.  I'm allowed now:  but its a beautiful facility.  After inventory I was reorganizing the books.  These authors are writing series books.  Series is real popular w kids right now.  Darn it!!!!  Some of these series have 30 books.  What parent or public school librarian has that kind of money???????  End the damn things.  Took me 7 years but all my series are intact and complete.  As I was organizing  I had this moment of realizing how much pleasure these books have brought to my students.  How much pleasure they have given me.  I thank my lucky stars that Americans have time and money to read for pleasure.  And, that is what we do.  So, sad for those who can't read.  So, I had doubt about retiring.  Wanting more and more of this pleasure and lo and behold:  I laughed and said no way.  Pleasure at home from now on.  18 days and I can read adult books for pleasure.