its been a hell of a day

The minute I get out of my car I have to put on a happy face.  A dear friend of mine has died.  That is one of the worst things about getting old.  Facing your mortality.  We drive too fast,  hurry not to be late,  spread our selves too thin.  We text so we won't have to spend time talking to a family member and we take chances when we drive.  We eat unhealthy food & get heart problems from stress.  She was younger than me and her heart just quit.  We spend so much time being angry, hurt or just "stressed" and compartmentalize our lives instead of rejoicing how fortunate and privileged we are.  When you finally reach this age nothing is more important than time.  I have had a great life.  I was immortal in my twenties and thirties.  When I was 45 people thought I was 28.  I never told.  I have taught all over the world and crossed the Atlantic and Pacific a dozen or more times.  And, yet I ache.  I hope and pray that when I get old I don't look back on my life and regret not doing, regret being hurtful, regret......my life.  We only have one chance.  God please make it so that my life is right.  I am so tired.  I want to quilt and grieve.  Quilting is always such therapy.